Losing our little friends
Losing a pet is much like losing a loved one.
Now for starters I hate the term pet. Because if you are someone like me, who opens your heart freely a “pet” doesn’t stay a pet for very long, they become your family. No matter how big or small; they always do.
Those loved ones become your responsibility and then day by day you realise that actually not only could they not live without you, but you could not live without them.
I used to think it was so hard saying goodbye to my English Springer Spaniel Charlie to go on holiday. Having but a care in the world, not having to worry about leaving him alone for too long, or getting out of bed so he could go to the toilet, or especially those lovely long walks in the rain. But then when the time actually came to say goodbye to my Charlie you will come to realise that actually you would give anything to have them trailing mud back through your recently cleaned house again. Because it means that they never left.
You might find people say to you “oh he was just a dog you’ll get over it” or “how could you love a pet that much”.
But you just do.
There is no stronger love than for your loved one. You can talk for hours on end and they will just listen, they always know when something is wrong and they will just know when you are in need of a good cuddle, you never have to try and explain yourself to them, you can just let it all out and you know they would never answer you back! Now that is my argument as to why it is so hard to cope when losing your little one!
So the question I found myself asking constantly was, how do I cope?
And my answer is time.
For a very long time you won’t accept the truth, because who is ever ready and prepared to lose a loved one? No one.
So, take the time to remember, take the time to comfort yourself and remind yourself that you gave them the best life you possibly could, take time to be thankful for the beautiful memories you have with them. Most importantly take the time to talk to someone about how you are feeling and by someone I also mean, you can talk to them. I believe we are never alone in this world and that includes our little ones who have passed on.
After losing Charlie I had a very difficult time sleeping, every time I closed my eyes I could see his face, I could see every detail from the last time I saw him and I couldn’t cope. So I talked to him; I asked him what he had got up to, I asked him if he’d been asleep all day (which was something he done a lot!) and I would make sure I’d tell him how much I miss him; because I know he was there and I know he was listening to me.
But it broke my heart that I couldn’t see him, I couldn’t cuddle him one last time and I will be honest it still does however I am certain that you will never ever truly feel the same again. But in time it becomes a pain that you learn to live with and after time the tears will become less frequent and the memories will become moments of laughter and reminisce.
One thing you must not do is be afraid of loving again.
Fast forward a year, my family decided they wanted another dog, to me this was betrayal and the worst possible thing they could have ever brought into conversation; however, after a while I began to realise that I couldn’t live without another companion. No one will ever replace the one you have lost, but they will make the pain a little less unbearable. With time your heart will open again and your new loved one will show traits that will have you rolling over laughing, because you know so well that your past loved one and your little companion now would have been such a handful; that you would have been pulling your hair out! But that is what loving again is all about, it is about bringing a new joy into your life.
If you ever find yourself in a position of losing your little one, always keep something of theirs, be that a blanket, toy or collar. Because those little things will help you to get through this time in your life and help you move forward by keeping them at your side.
No matter when you lose them, you will never forget them and those little things you will find at the back of a cupboard, or lost in a draw will one day bring back a flood of warm and beautiful memories that you can cherish forever.
I want to share a poem with you; as many times as this poem has made me cry, it brought me guidance to keep me moving forward and I hope it does the same for you too.
Waiting at the door…
I was just a pup when we first met.
I loved you from the start,
you picked me up and took me home and placed me in your heart.
Good times we had together,
we shared all life could throw,
but years passed all too quickly,
my time has come to go.
I know how much you miss me.
I know your heart is sore.
I see the tears that fall when I’m not,
waiting by the door.
You always did your best for me,
your love was plain to see,
for even though it broke your heart,
you set my spirit free.
So please be brave without me,
one day we’ll meet once more,
for when you’re called to heaven.
I’ll be waiting at the door.
Happy heavenly Birthday Charlie xXx